Too good to be true

 Is there something as being too good? I ask myself. 

Have you ever looked around you either in your workplace, home, college or just among your friends and spotted one that just stands out?

Am not talking about those who act out; who inherently want the spotlight on themselves or those who want everyone to notice them.

Am talking about the silent ones, the ones everyone does not notice.

But if you look closely you would find that you can actually pick them out from a crowd.

They portray this kind of superhuman nature…they are just too good whatever you throw at them they take it all within their stride.

You can be rude and arrogant to the level you know even you can’t take if it was reciprocated to you.

As overbearing as you can be they still see you as their friend, their spouse, their companion, their student, their patient.

It is as if God created them with an extra chromosome of kindness. Not that they pretend to be kind in order to blackmail you or laugh at you behind your back.

They are just so good naturally.

But that does not give us the right to overuse them or even take advantage of their extra chromosome of niceness

They are after all human with feelings just like the rest of us. 

You might say that I have not been around for too long to be able to discern the real friends from the fake in the people who surround you.

I believe by being human I qualify to say this, at some point we all get tired.

We get tired of picking up after a spouse that just does not know where to put the dirty laundry, a child that throws his toys all over the living room or tired of listening to your whining about life when you totally refuse to do something about your circumstances.

I know quite well that I fall squarely into that third category of whiners and my apologies to all whom have found me unbearable at one point or another.

I am not saying that if you have problems that you keep them to yourself, it we all did that I think that the number of people dying from stressed related illnesses would in the least triple.

I’m just saying that you have people around you who truly love and care for you, some with supernatural power to contain understand and appreciate your flaws.

Those you should not take for granted.

They mostly like to play the secondary role in your life being an active listener to your problems, listening and celebrating your victories and successes.

As such it is very easy to ignore them or forget that they have lives of their own that do not actually revolve around you.

They might even be facing worse of problems than you are and have either chosen not to tell you about them or made several attempts to tell you about them many of which you failed to recognize.

It would be nice to send them a thank you note once in a while and let them know that you appreciate them.

You could take them out for dinner buy them something  good to wear or a piece of jewelry it doesn’t have to be something expensive you could even choose to do their laundry (or pay for someone to do it)

Skeptics argue that giving away a lot of control to others helps them manipulate you as they pass through your life. I disagree not all people plan to leave you, some of them you just push away when you stop caring.

Growing up, my parents always taught me the value of relationships and that it was the little things that always mattered at the end of the day.

How you treat your super power friend, relative, spouse or client will determine exactly how long they will stay in your life.

No one will come to you and pinpoint who these people are, you have to do it for yourself and you also have to appraise them and determine how much they mean to your life.

Ask yourself the hard questions whether they are worth keeping around and re-evaluate your relationships to see what you can afford to change in order to make it work for the better.

It’s not rocket science: Some people are just Too good to be true!

Adrenaline Junkie

Philip says I do  not know how to relax and maybe his right, I do not know just how to spend time with myself and reflect on where I am what I have done so far and where I am going.

I really did not figure out what he was talking about until recently when I took a leave of absence from work  for a few days. I felt stressed and  just needed to get out of the office for a while and play an observatory role over my life recently.

Interestingly I ended up in the office for three consecutive days, it didn’t hit home really until one of my colleagues told be that I should just leave the office and GO HOME!!

Honestly speaking over the last two years I do not remember a time when I was not working or thinking about work.

Either I was working on a piece, typing it out, looking for people to interview, looking for new angles to do common stories, doing a follow up story or even bouncing off ideas with someone else. Even when I was meant to be resting I would be too eager to wait for the phone to ring and would gladly go to work when I was bored with staying at home.

An Adrenaline Junkie actually is what Philip says I have become running basically on the thrill of the job  even when am fatigued and tired and I should be home, resting.

So this time around  I  decided to come home for the holiday, but my elder sister and younger brother are quite unpleased with me , I have kind of  been hogging the remote focusing on news channels and trying  to analyse  how the various news stories have been treated and angles they have picked.

In retrospect, I wonder when I became a workaholic ? So am taking this time to relearn what the word  rest means.

It’s a very competitive world and more often than not we end up  being  sucked into the pressures of being the best , being  on your toes , ahead of  the competition. Trying so hard to make ends meet for ourselves and families, not closely looking at the costs at stake.

The family dinner that we forget to attend because we were working late, the christening that you miss because of that all important project that is due on Monday.

But it is just not the big events, the small  things too when your baby learns to say those first words, MAMA and take those first steps at the bottom line it is these moments that you miss that will haunt you no matter how much food  you bring to the table or how much money you make for vacations you will not get back that moment.

The temptation of looking better to your employer, your investors, your clients might be  so strong that you say yourself there will always  be  another time to spend with your family and friends.

There will always be another  job, project or client to take on, they will just keep piling up one after another and you have to decide what you are going to do.

That is not true at all, Life is too short for you to be spending it all frustrated by your daily hustles.it does not cost much to sit back and laugh through past mistakes and the good times.

Actually it is kind of refreshing, you get back to work with a clear head and a few laughs and memories to boost your heart.

For me, it is always nice to know that I am not alone : that I have family who have my back even when am out of a job!!

'Thank you' goes a long way

As a child you’re often told that it is paramount to say thank you whenever someone does something good for you. 

When your friend shares a biscuit-you say thank you

When a classmate or even your parents helps you with your homework -you say thank you

When your neighbour shares their toys with you while on a play date -you say thank you

And of course after every meal would one not only be grateful to god for the provision but also thankful to the people who made it a scrumptious meal.

But somewhere along the way those two words have diminished in value and for others have completely lost their meaning.

When was the last time you appreciated someone for the service that they have offered you, for their friendship and love?

Why is it that we always assume that people know we are grateful and take it not for granted?

I do not believe that mind readers exist and it is not possible for people to know what you think of them until you tell them.

Take a typical workday for instance; you leave your house or apartment early in the morning to avoid traffic and leave your house help preparing for your kids for school because the school bus arrives long after you have left.

At the gate is a guard who spends twelve hours ensuring that while you are away your property especially for the single ones is well taken care of.

The matatu driver and conductor have left their beds early in order to facilitate for people like you to reach their workstations early.

As you get to your office is another guard or several guards who often go unnoticed standing by to ensure that while you make your money for the day no harm comes to you.

When you go out to a restaurant for breakfast or lunch the waiters and waitresses who take time to give you your food.

You may say that these people are doing their jobs or what they are paid to do but if you care to look a little closer you will see that they take time to bond with you and make your life easier.

The driver who tries to make conversation with you while you are stuck in traffic, the guard who tells you are well dressed as you leave in the morning and asks how you have been when you get back home even passing on your message to the caretaker about a broken window or leaking pipe in the house.

They just like you are human with feelings and go through bad days and family frustrations at times they even feel like giving up and undervalued in their work.

It will do you no harm to say those two words of appreciation.

In fact it will help you exercise several muscles just by uttering the words and change the way you view that person.

Guaranteed that Thank You will never come to haunt you; it will indeed make things better and more palatable.

So today ensure that the day does not end before you utter those words to someone

Say Thank You ­­– It is good for your heart !!